Rob Judge: The Blog » Rob Judge: The Blog

Romantic Music [28-Song Playlist!]

Rob Judge — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 17:28:27 +0000

Alright. With Valentine’s Day looming, I thought I’d throw you a bone.

Below I’m going to release the EXACT playlist I use, in the EXACT order I pay it in whenever I’m trying to “set the mood” with a lovely lady.

Seriously. This is ROMANTIC MUSIC for guys who like to be one-on-one with girls who are turned on. I included the links to the songs in iTunes so you don’t have to waste your time searching for each song. (Also, every time you buy through those links, I get like 20 cents….YEAH INTERNET MONEY!).

Download. Play. Enjoy. And don’t forget to call her the next day!

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Are You Afraid of Women?

Rob Judge — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:26:15 +0000

Quick shout out to my good New York buddies Christian Hudson and Nick Sparks. They’re releasing videos that explain their FEARLESS program, which I was honored to be a speaker at last year.

The content is really solid (so much so that it inspired my blog post today). So before you read this blog post, click on the link below and watch the short video so you understand where I’m coming from…

The 6 Signs that Tell a Woman You’re Afraid

Funny how Christian and Nick released this video today because last night I was on a date, and saw this idea of “fear” play out exactly like they describe.

Imagine this scene…

I’m sitting across from this Japanese girl with incredible cleavage at a sushi restaurant in midtown Manhattan. Our table is on the second floor, right next to a waterfall (yes, there’s a fucking waterfall in the restaurant!). Chill lounge music bumps in the background as the tables fill up with couples.

At some point, I look up from the menu. My gaze narrowly avoids getting fixated on my date’s amazing cleavage and instead I take a glance around the room. I see a roomful of men’s faces—much like my own—but there’s something drastically different.

They all look scared.

The degree of fear varied—some guys look flat out petrified whereas other guys just looked moderately uncomfortable. But not a single guy looked like he was enjoying himself.

To me, this was shocking. Going on dates and meeting women is, in my opinion, one of the most fun ways to spend your time. I don’t understand how guys can look as if they are watching their dog get put to sleep as they sit across from an attractive girl.

As the evening progressed, our table was by far the loudest. My date and I were having the most fun, cracking up at each other’s joke, enjoying each other’s company, and conversing with passion and enthusiasm.

There was no table I would have rather been sitting in that restaurant other than my own. The grass wasn’t greener on anyone else’s side. It truly was a win-win date, and, as you’d imagine, it ended very happily for both of us.

Yet, at the same time, I always think back to my life before all this dating advice stuff. I certainly recognized the fearful look…because it was plastered all over my face every time I got within a 10-foot radius of an attractive girl.

The old backslapper credo of, “Just be yourself!” became an insurmountable task when you’re on the verge of peeing your pants from fear. It would be like dropping someone into a heavy combat zone and, as the helicopter is flying away and bullets are whizzing by, someone yells, “Hey, just be yourself dude and everything will be fine!”

No.

This is precisely why I get so frustrated when I explain my job to “civilians.” Most people scoff at the idea of “dating advice” because they don’t understand the crippling fear that creeps in whenever a guy is in front of a girl he finds attractive.

Dating advice and meeting women IS as simple as “being yourself” once you can overcome your fear. But that is no small feat. And hence why I continue to write blogs, release products, and teach programs.

Devising ways to short-circuit men’s “fear mechanism” is the fastest way to get a guy acting like himself (which is inherently attractive). Of course, once a guy removes his feelings of fear, we can further tweak his communication style and approach (hence, courses like the Advanced Dating Strategies).

But it all has to begin with removing the fear. Be honest with yourself here: do women scare you? Do you feel completely comfortable around women? Are you excited to go on dates?

Or are you more like the guys I was observing in the sushi restaurant?

If you’re not the loudest table in the restaurant, with you and your date doubled over in laughter, enjoying the fuck out of each other, then you very well may be letting fear inhibit your ability to “just be yourself.”

While it’s all well and good for me to point out the “fear factor,” you’d probably much rather I explain how to circumvent fear. Aside from the great info in Christian and Nick’s video (seriously, check it out…. Click Here), the best advice I can give is…

“Jump off the high dive.”

That’s the phrase I use in my own head when I do something that scares the shit out of me. A few years ago, it was approaching girls. A few months ago, it was quitting my job to start my own business. Who knows what it will be tomorrow?

I’m certainly not fearless, but I also don’t let fear cripple my lifestyle. Everything I want out of life is just beyond my comfort zone. Women. Money. Respect. The only thing that’s preventing you from attaining those things is your own paralyzing fear.

Time to get fearless. Just off the high dive.

If you enjoyed this idea of FEAR, seriously check out what Christian and Nick are cooking! Click on the link below:

Learn about becoming FEARLESSSimilar Posts:

Something Snapped: The Worst Summer of My Life & How It Changed Everything

Rob Judge — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 03:06:12 +0000

Before I get into the blog post, I want to give an update on what’s been going on (and why I’ve been somewhat lax about updating this blog). For the last few weeks, I’ve felt more inspired and productive than ever to build Date Hotter Girls.

As ridiculous as it sounds, something about this company really speaks to me on a very deep level. Even before we’d thought of the name, Date Hotter Girls was what I wanted to do. It gives me a chance to express my creativity in various mediums, put out content that has life-changing potential, and interact with likeminded guys who are motivated to take control of their lives. What could be cooler than that?

Since Thanksgiving, I’ve been going hard in the paint, working long hours to cultivate and shape the vision and direction of the company. In all honesty, I have a long road ahead of me, as I think it’ll take at least a year of working like this before I have everything in place the way I want it.

But the reward will be well worth it. I’ll be sitting on a company that I believe represents my complete vision of learning to become successful in dating. I don’t want to be all hypey and list off the tantalizing projects I’ve been working on, but let’s just say big things are in the works!

On that note, I want to focus today’s blog on a dark period of my life. In fact, it’s probably the darkest time I’ve ever had to live through. Not to be too dramatic, but I really saw a fork in the road: I could give up or I could fight with every ounce of my being.

This truly was the moment I sealed my fate, where I made a decision to take control of my life and stop giving a fuck what anyone else thought or said about me. If it weren’t for that summer, I wouldn’t be here, writing these words.

But, holy fuck…what a painful summer it was.

I was only 12 years old at the time: the age where you’re just adult to enough to have complex emotions, but still child enough to be foolish. I’d been insecure my entire life, having grown up “the fat kid” in my small Long Island town.

I’d done absolutely nothing of note with my life up until that point other than befriend what I considered to be the “cool kids” of my school year. Even though I was always just a tag-along, I was grateful for that. To feel accepted by people I thought were important meant more to me than anything. In other words, I based my life on giving a fuck—giving a huge fuck.

One day, the cool kids decided to stop accepting me. To this day, I’m not even completely sure what their reason was. I was tragically uncool, which probably had a lot to do with it. Though, for it to suddenly just come to a flashpoint like that makes me think it was probably something I inadvertently perpetuated.

Whatever the reason, the exact moment my heart was smashed to bits happened when I’d called one of these cool kids. He told me some excuse why he couldn’t hang out. I remember something in his voice bothering me enough that I went out to take a walk. On this walk, I bumped into him as well as all the other cool kids. Their faces said it all: I wasn’t welcome in the group anymore.

Writing this as a 28-year old, I feel incredibly stupid. Being ousted from a social group at the age of 12 doesn’t sound like an incredibly traumatizing event. Yet, at that moment, I wanted to kill myself. I remember how horrifically low I felt. I didn’t want to live in my own skin.

I went home and cried, like a little bitch. I knew I couldn’t chase their approval anymore, as much as I wanted to beg them to accept me again. Stupid and pathetic as I was, at least I understood that. But for days, I just moped around my house, drawing unwanted sympathy from my family.

I felt like everyone knew how I’d been rejected and that they were laughing at me behind my back. I had no friends, so everyone was an enemy. I’ve never felt more isolated and alone as I did during those summer nights, when I’d lie alone in bed feeling hopeless.

To numb the pain, I did what any 12-year-old would do: I watched endless hours of television. Eventually, I heard a quote that would redefine my entire life. As hilarious as it sounds, this quote came out of a Batman cartoon and spoken by the Penguin. The quote was a simple cliché: “Living well is the best revenge.” Though as simple and cliché as those words were, they changed my life.

Suddenly, I felt incredibly empowered. The best “revenge” I could exact on those who snuffed me would be to live my life well. I could transform my entire life and that would be my big fuck you to all those who rejected me.

So I took steps to begin living well. I changed my eating habits. I began to jog at night. And I prepared to enter a private school that September. Since I spent those hours alone, I became my own best friend. Every time I did something that improved my life—even if it was only by the tiniest bit—I felt like I’d accomplished a victory.

Naturally, the “cool kids” took notice of me jogging around my neighborhood. They saw me trying to live outside their precious circle of influence. Maybe it’s just because 12-year-old boys are cruel or these kids were true bastards, but they did everything they could to salt my efforts. They taunted me. They insulted me. They even physically assaulted me. Again, maybe it was just in “good fun” or maybe they hoped to break my spirit.

Regardless, that’s when something snapped. Somewhere, deep inside me, a chord broke. It was the chord that attached me to the need of other people’s acceptance. Tenacious as those vultures of mediocrity were, I didn’t care. I kept doing me. I kept jogging. I kept striving to improve myself. I kept to my vision of “living well.”

At first, I did these things as “revenge.” But, later, I realized, as the haters spewed their hate, that I wasn’t doing it for them. I was doing it for me. My life was something that had nothing to do with them. If they wanted to shout heckles at me from the sidelines, so be it. I was going to keep pushing, keep improving, keep chiseling out my fate.

Somewhere along the way I stopped giving any hint of a fuck. I stopped caring what people thought about me, said about me, screamed at me out of a moving car as my then-fat ass jogged through the hot summer streets. It was a cycle: the less I cared, the meaner they got, which made me care even less.

All the hatred they dished that summer transformed into positive changes in my life. Such is the alchemy of not giving a fuck. When people push, you don’t push back—you push forward. I accomplished more in that school year than I had in my entire life up until that point.

And each year after that has been more successful than the last. As I see it my life began when I stopped giving a fuck. Painful as that dark, dark summer was, I’d live through it a million more times if I came out in the end the way I am now.

Every time I meet a guy who wants to improve his success in dating, I secretly hope he’ll “snap” as well. The biggest inhibiting factor of most guy’s lives is that they give too much of a fuck what people think of them. They keep themselves safely mediocre because they crave acceptance over success.

In this game, acceptance feels nice but it won’t translate into a lifestyle change. If you want to actually make a change in your life, make a change in the way you see the people around you. They may be nice and well intentioned, but you can’t revolve your life around their approval. You have to start sacking up and stop giving a fuck.

Start sacking up and stop giving a fuck.

That may mean living through a dark summer like the one I endured. You may even be living through that dark summer right now. See it as a blessing. Never will the fork in the road be clearer to you. It’s now or never: either give up or fight with every ounce of your being.

But, when you’re weighing that choice, and the taunts of the vultures of mediocrity are loud in your ears, I hope the words of this blog echo like chant:

Start sacking up and stop giving a fuck.Similar Posts:

Great Moments of Mansformations: The Night About HIM

Rob Judge — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 14:43:36 +0000

I could almost see his spirit laid across the floor, shattered, crunching underneath the bustle of a Lower East Side wine bar. I stood off in the corner, not unlike a trainer during a 12-round boxing match. I was ready to yell some motivational tidbits in his ear, or do what little I could to dress his wounds, but not much more.

At least a dozen times that night I spat my personal mantra at him: It’s not about them; it’s about you. Now he was learning just what that meant, rather brutally. He’d come to this program with 24 years of bad decisions, and we were trying to reverse that in a single weekend. For 24 harsh years it’d been about them—their idea of how he should live, how he should act. Now, for the last 24 hours, he’d made it about him.

“What do you talk about,” I’d asked him earlier that evening, “when you talk to women?”

He considered his answer and mumbled, “I don’t know…”

“How don’t you know?” I demanded, making sure there was a little bite in my voice, “Do words just spew from your face?”

“No,” he backtracked. “I guess I just make small talk, ask them about themselves, recite routines.”

“Stop doing that,” I snapped. “For now on, you speak in alignment with your values.”

Speak in alignment with your values. As the words spewed from my face, I realized how ridiculous the phrase must have sounded. I chided myself for being too esoteric, too self-helpish. I took a sip of my Blue Moon, leaned forward, and clarified, “Look. You’re living by other people’s standards. And an obvious symptom of that is the way you’re talking to people. Making small talk, asking a woman about herself, or reciting a routine does not set you up to have the sort of conversations you want to be having, now does it?”

“No,” he agreed, “It doesn’t.”

“Exactly,” I smiled. “You’d much rather be enjoying yourself. Given the choice between enjoying yourself or making small talk, you’d pick enjoying yourself, right?”

“Right.”

“But you’re talking the way you are because you think that’s a necessary step to get yourself—and the girl you’re interacting with—to enjoy the interaction.”

He thought about this, and then nodded.

“Your entire communication strategy,” I went on, my voice picking up momentum. “Is based around other people’s standards. You think by appeasing someone else’s values first, you’ll be rewarded. You think by giving her what you think she wants, she’ll give you what you want.”

I took another sip of Blue Moon, letting the point sink in.

“You’re not going to do that anymore. The point of this weekend isn’t to give you a new set of values—it’s simply to get you living in alignment with the values you already have. Since you paid to attend a weekend program to meet women, obviously that’s something you value. I mean—you didn’t pay to come on a weekend program to make small talk, did you?”

He chuckled. I couldn’t tell if the laughter was genuine, nervous, or both.

I went on, “So if meeting women is something you value, meeting women is what you talk about. Everything you say—from the first words out of your mouth—has to align with what you value. For me, I have a habit of telling women that they’re adorable and I had to meet them. It’s a horrible pickup line, but at least it’s honest. It’s an expression of what I value.”

Even though he remained quiet, I knew he was getting it.

“You have to make everything about you. I don’t mean that in a selfish or arrogant way. But your only shot at attracting a woman is attracting her through your values. Everything else is just smoke and mirrors.”

I tilted my head back to finish off the Blue Moon. Slapping the bottle down onto the table, I concluded with the words that were to echo throughout the evening: “It’s not about them; it’s about you.”

He scampered toward another group of women. As he made he way through the crowd, my heart shook my ribcage like a desperate inmate trying to bend the prison bars of his captivity. It was as if my heart wanted to leap from my chest, plop onto the trampled barroom floor, and slink behind him as he approached.

I felt as if the world suddenly grinded to a halt, suspending the moment so I could take a mental snapshot that would allow me to remember it forever. I can still recall everything, from irrelevant details like the color of the shirt of the bartender was wearing (white, v-neck) to the ominous New Wave song that blasted out of the speakers (Tears for Fears “Shout”).

As he pushed forward—facing rejection after rejection—I knew he was chiseling out a new fate for himself. While he logically understood everything I’d told him, he had to understand it emotionally. And that was something I had no control over. All I could do was sit back and watch.

But, in that moment, as he made his way to do another approach, I realized what I was witnessing. This wasn’t some dude acting like a pest at a pretentious Lower East Side wine bar. This was a man breaking out of his cocoon of passive acceptable. While it pained me to watch him get brutalized by girl after girl, it had to happen. When you step into your power, make it about you, and throw yourself into the arena of proactivity, bad reactions are waiting for you. Any hint of weakness or uncertainty is ferreted out, exposed, and mocked.

Yet, he accepted those terms. His decision was symbolized each time he got back up. Each time he turned around and approached the next girl. And the next girl. And the girl after that. With every approach, he came into closer alignment with his values. He took my phrase—ridiculous as it sounded earlier that evening—and made it completely not ridiculous. He made it something he was living by. He was transforming his understanding from logic to emotion. He was transforming into a man. He’d made it about him.

Two and a half years later, that man is J.T. Styles.

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What I’ve Been Up To (and LINKS!)

Rob Judge — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 17:10:44 +0000

I was hoping to get into more of a “routine” of updating this blog, but I’ve been finishing a ton of projects that keep pulling me away from writing on this blog!

Some of those projects are non-girl related (e.g., magazine articles on cavemen, SAT math prep apps, etc.) but many of those projects ARE girl related. Namely…

I wrote my reaction to the Occupy Wall Street Movement (and it explains the lifestyle of a “self-made man”).

By the way, if you like that article, please share it. I think it’s one of my better pieces on taking control of your life and hope that it’ll help some people. It’s an article I wish I’d read a few years earlier…

Also, I recently coded mobile apps for TSB magazine. Here are the links:

Get the TSB app on iPhone

Get the TSB app on Android

Alright, that’s all for now. But rest assured, I’ve been drafting some blog posts. Also, I’m putting the finishing touches on TWO full books and am completing a class on using this new $3,000 camera I bought along with Final Cut Pro (AV nerds give me a what what) so big things on the horizon!

Thanks for reading!

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10 More of the Best Texts to Send Girls

Rob Judge — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 13:38:50 +0000

Last year I wrote the 10 Best Texts to Send Girls…OF ALL TIME. Now, time hasn’t ended and those 10 texts are still totally relevant and effective.

But since these posts are fun to put together, and I think they teach good fundamentals for texting and communicating with women, I decided to follow up last year’s post with another 10 texts, straight from my iPhone…

10.) Know Any?

A big part of texting girls is learning how to give a compliment without coming off like ass-kissing chump. Saying flattering things—but saying them in interesting ways—is the best way to work a phone number into a date. This text is a perfect example of that. By playfully inviting a girl to a movie, but calling her “cute” and “nerdy,” and then flirtatiously negating the invitation by adding, “Know any?” is a great way to keep things smoldering (especially with cute, nerdy chicks).

9.) The Badass

One of the worst things a guy can do when texting girls is become too predictable. If you find yourself going back-and-forth with women on text (which you shouldn’t, per my cardinal rule of texting from The 4 Elements of Game), you should absolutely make sure you don’t become boring, predictable guy. If a girl asks what you’re doing, or how you plan on spending your vacation, giving a serious answer will usually just cause a lull. Therefore, answering with something totally ridiculous (like The Badass) will re-spark the excitement.

8.) Diseased Romantic

Telling girls you think they’re hot, and that you’re interested in them sexually, is how you stay out of the friend zone. Unfortunately it’s also how to be a major creep-master. Therefore, there’s certainly an “art” to expressing sexual interest. As I detail in The 4 Elements, effective sexual tension is all about balancing drive (sexual interest) with inspiration (humor and personality). This text brings the sexual interest while also keeping it humorous. And somewhat gross.

7.) Vanity Fair

Let’s face it: humans are vain creatures. Whenever people talk about us, we want to hear about it. So why not use that human foible to your advantage? By “baiting” a woman by saying something reminded you of her, and then telling her you’ll explain over some wine, you set up a nice little date for yourself.

6.) The Morning After Text

Sometimes the most important text you send is the first text. For a long time I struggled with this, either texting too much or too little, too serious or too bizarre. Finally I stumbled on a text that always seems to get a good response, without making it seem like I’m trying too hard. This text says it all: cougars, wildness, the place where you met, your name, and even one of those little emoticons. This text rarely doesn’t get a response—even from girls who might not even remember you.

5.) First Impressions

Whenever you’re sending a text, you might as well send something that will work for you later. Therefore, if I get a date venue before a girl, I don’t just text, “Here”. I try to spice things and text something we can immediately joke about when she shows up. By describing myself in a way so obviously not me, I set up a flirty dynamic before the date even begins. It’s a great way to start a night.

4.) Traditional Date

As I said before, one the best texting skills a man can learn is the ability to give compliments without coming off weird or creepy. Most guys tell girls they’re hot or beautiful or some permutation of the two. It’s much better, however, to complement a girl in tandem—or, in other words, make a cocky statement about yourself while also giving her a complement. My favorite way to do this is by commenting on how great your future children will be. When you tell her you want to have Zoolander babies with her, you’re not only telling her she’s hot and you’re hot, but you’re also implying you’re going to have sex—all while you keep it funny. Win, win, win.

3.) Traditional Date

These days, people really over-think dating. If you think dating is complicated for a dude, it’s equally complicated for women. Therefore, do everyone a favor and suggest something old fashioned…like a drink. Keeping these simple is not only a great text strategy—it’s also a great way to procure a date.

2.) Music Assistant

Sometimes you just need a text to keep the ball in the air. When I used to work in an office, I’d sit in my cubicle texting babes all day. Usually I’d just use text to set up meet ups or manage girls I was seeing, but occasionally I’d just send a text to keep things alive with girls I was working on. Asking a girl for a song recommendation is a great way to get to know her while not asking boring interview-style questions like, “What kind of music do you like?” Get a gangsta recommendation from a hot girl in your phone…like right now.

1.) Jaws

Sometimes your best bet when texting is to go with the absurd. These sorts of texts are especially good when you’re getting lackluster responses or no responses at all. While it’s a hit-or-miss move, if a girl has a special place in her heart for sharks, you just may be able to rekindle things with the Jaws text.

(Alternative Jaws text: “Shark’s over. It’s safe. What are you doing later?”)

And so there you have it: 10 More of the Best Texts to Send Hot Girls…OF ALL TIME!

Oh, if you found those texts helpful, you will LOVE the information in our newsletter. I know must newsletter are just filler content with endless marketing pitches…and that’s exactly why I made sure to only put my BEST content into each newsletter, delivered straight to your inbox each day.

Just give me a week and I guarantee you’ll understand why I’m so confident our newsletter kicks massive ass and will get you dating your dream girl. Just log-in with you email below!

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How Much Do You Want to Improve Your Success with Women? Two Snapshots from my Life

Rob Judge — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 04:27:57 +0000

1. “I Make My Own Porn”

I remember exactly where I stood when I heard it. I was in 7^th grade. I was walking through the hallway of the science wing and passing by a group of older kids, cooler kids. These were the “popular” kids.

As I approached the huddled mass, I caught a snip-it of a question: “…going to get porn?”

Then, he said it. A freshman named Dan Beck, already a notorious seducer at the ripe of fifteen, sneered. The crowd went silent as he prepared to speak the words that would forever color my perception of cool. He said, “Why would I need porn? I make my own porn.”

I knew the statement was important, even at the time, in spite of my inexperience regarding all things sexual. I recall very few memories from middle school as vividly as that one, at how fucking cool Dan Beck seemed as he spat those five words.

For over a decade I’ve carried that sentence with me—I make my own porn—as a barometer. Surely there are finer and more worthwhile endeavors than “making one’s own porn,” though I can’t claim to have discovered many. In that one sentence, in that idea of manufacturing a sex life so incredible that it surpasses one’s need for porn, I found a pretty damn good yardstick for a life well lived.

Let’s be honest: having a great sex life is like 53.467% of having a great overall life. Bad as things may be in your day-to-day life, if you can go home to a woman—or women—who truly gratifies your sexual desires, everything else seems pretty okay. Conversely, no matter how great things may be going for you in every other aspect of your life, if you aren’t sexually satisfied, you won’t feel satisfied in general.

2. The Great Chase

Years later, I was at a barbeque. This must have been right around the time I’d graduated college, as I remember feeling vaguely adult. I may or may have been wearing a collared shirt and the discussion was probably something vaguely adult—like our office jobs or where we hoped to be living in 10 years.

As the night wore on, and the beer caught up to us, a friend of mine clapped me on the shoulder and gave me some life advice. I remember he sneered, just like Dan Beck had sneered, but what he told me was the exact opposite of “I make my own porn.” He explained to me that I was too caught up in chasing women, and admonished, “Life isn’t some big pussy chase.”

“Well,” I thought, “That’s news to me.” That was the exact thought I had at that moment: Life not being some big pussy chase is, in fact, news to me. Back then, I wasn’t some bizarre Internet dating instructor and, moreover, I wasn’t even good with women. I was just some hopeless idiot who got his heart broken repeatedly, yet didn’t really seem to mind.

I know my friend had my best interests at heart, yet I knew what he said was wrong. Very wrong. If I wasn’t spending my time pursuing women, then what was I spending my time doing? Nothing that seemed very interesting.

It’s not that chasing girls was the only thing that gave my life meaning. I had plenty of other interests then, as I have had throughout my life. Yet the fairer sex always seemed to make those interests more interesting. Writing is so much better when writing about women (hence this blog). Learning to play the guitar is so much more enjoyable when mixed with women. Even having a conversation is much more interesting when that conversation is with or about a girl.

I’m sorry, maybe I’m still that hopeless idiot, but I just love women. And Dan Beck’s quote—while vulgar and aggressive—betrayed a love of women, too. A common question I’m asked is how long does it take to become better with women. Usually, before I can even respond, I can already sense there’s an expectation. That expectation is that I’m going to list off a timeline, a flowchart, or some other measure the effort and time involved in becoming successful with women.

While I could answer the question that way, I prefer not to. It’s not that I blame the questioner for wanting a concrete answer, but it’s just that I don’t understand how someone could pursue this area of their life as if it were gaining 10 pounds of muscle or studying for a college degree. It’s not. In my opinion, learning to become more successful with women is probably the best way to spend your time. So why try to quantify it?

More importantly, what’s the alternative? Live life without a woman you’re excited to have sex with? Resort to (actual) porn to get your sexual satisfaction? That isn’t a life well lived. That’s boring.

Perhaps I was lucky because I was fortunate enough to overhear someone perfectly summarize my definition of “good living.” Yet, I feel even luckier that I had such a visceral reaction to my friend’s admonishment that I shouldn’t be living my life in pursuit of women.

In that moment, when I felt shocked and confused, I knew I had the motivation to change my fate with women. For me, living a life without women isn’t really living at all. That’s always been what has driven me to take action, even when I sucked. Do you have the same drive? Ask yourself this: do you sympathize more with the guy who’s proud to make his own porn, or with those who warn against the perils of the “great pussy chase?”

That answer alone will dictate how you fair on this journey.

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Date Hotter Girls summer: An Update from Rob

Rob Judge — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 03:36:27 +0000

TWO ANNOUCEMENTS

I am doing a live program in LONDON the weekend of August 26-28. I have one spot left. If you’re interested in attending my LIVE weekend program, email me at rob@datehottergirls.com
Our friends at The Social Man just released a great PDF to accompany their FEARLESS program. I spoke at the FEARLESS program (I’m featured in the product) and can tell you it’s great material. To download the free 32-page PDF, click on the link below.

Download the FEARLESS PDF

Alright. What a summer it’s been. I know this blog has been light on the content lately, but I’ve been crazy busy with projects, writing, and “research” (a.k.a., girls).

This summer the company really took off, due to the success of The Advanced Dating Strategies. Now that I have a little breathing room, I’ve been able to devote more time to other things…like writing my memoir.

This is something I’ve dreamt about since I really began writing at 17, after taking a creative writing class. I’ve always wanted to tell the story of my life through the women I’ve encountered. Obviously, not all those women were girlfriend—or even liked me. But I feel (and have always felt) that a lot of my identity and personality has been formed through my experiences with women—both good and bad. (Although, I think this is true of most people: our romantic history defines in a very specific way.)

So I’ve been pouring my creative energies into that, as well as a few new DHG projects we have in the pipeline (some really awesome stuff). I’m going to get back in the habit of weekly blogging soon, and I appreciate your patience.

Hope your summer is going great, as well.

And seriously, don’t forget to check out The Social Man PDF report! Get it down by clicking HERESimilar Posts:

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Self-Reference: How to Always Come Off Attractive…Even When You’re Bombing

Rob Judge — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 19:50:11 +0000

Before we get into the content, I just want to make a quick announcement for anyone in London: I’m going to be running a special London live program on the weekend of August 26-28. This will be the LAST UK program I run for a while, so if you’re interested in doing live coaching this is your chance.

There’s only one seat left on this program, so email me ASAP if you’re interested (rob at datehottergirls.com).

Now, onto the content…

When I was creating The Advanced Dating Strategies, I chose 21 “outer game” strategies that help keep an interaction with an attractive woman moving toward success. What most users of the course seem to enjoy most about the content is that these 21 strategies aren’t lines or gimmicks.

They’re merely ways to package YOUR personality in a way that’s attractive and sexual.

Along that same vein, there’s been a “22^nd strategy” that I’ve wanted to write about for a while. This strategy is what I call “self-reference” and it’s basically your golden ticket to always coming off awesome when you’re talking to women.

As the name implies, self-reference means you point out something you did or are going to do. I’ll demonstrate exactly what I’m talking about in a moment, but first I want to explain why this strategy is so effective.

Most of the time when guys chat with women, they try to come off perfect. This is why some men brag, other men “DHV,” and still others just try to appear like they got it all figured out. Logically and intuitively it makes sense to act like this; however, in reality, this accomplishes the exact opposite of attraction.

When a woman can tell a guy is trying to come off cool or perfect, she immediately pegs him as unattractive. Words women use to describe men like “tool,” “douche bag,” “loser,” and the like all derive from the common root of trying too hard. Many men fail with women for this reason alone!

Paradoxically, however, it’s hard to consciously study dating advice and not come off as if you’re “trying” around women. Applying dating advice necessitates that you try.

But there’s a solution. It’s perfectly okay to “try” so long as you don’t take things too seriously. If you apply dating advice with a sense of humor, then you can try as much as you’d like without coming across as a try-hard.

You may be wondering how this works. If you try without taking it seriously, a woman will see you’re not trying to be “perfect.” If you remove the “perfection expectation” from the trying, it’s no longer annoying. In fact, your behavior actually becomes endearing!

That’s because women can tell you’re not some pompous idiot who’s acting fake. Having a sense of humor about trying makes you appear more sincere and genuine. Though, when I write “have a sense of humor,” I don’t mean you need to be Jerry Seinfeld. You just need to feel comfortable with “self-reference.”

Let’s look at a few examples to better understand this…

Guy approaches a woman on a crowded subway and says, “I know this is totally random, and I might seem like one of those crazy people on the subway, but I just had come over and say I think you’re really cute.”

Guy approaches a woman at a bar and fumbles over his opening line. He smiles and says, “Wow, I can hardly speak around you. Do you always have this kind of effect on men?”

Guy is on a date and brings up a sexual topic too early on, offending the girl. He shakes his head and says, “Yeah, that was pretty stupid of me. I obviously get a little excited sometimes and blurt things out. As much as I’d like to blame it on my gender and say “it’s just a guy thing” it’s really just a “me” thing. My apologies.”

Guy wants to ask a girl to come home with him at the end of the night. He looks her in the eye and says, “I don’t want to be “that creepy guy” but I want take you home right now. I like you.”

In all those examples, by “self-referencing” the situation, feeling, or action, the guy deflates a lot of weirdness, awkwardness, and “tryingness” of what’s going on. Self-reference truly is like a “get out of jail free” card that you can use whenever you hit some friction around women. You can use this strategy over text, on a date, in the beginning of a pickup or even in the final moments when you’re about to have sex.

The effectiveness of “self-reference” rests on showing a woman that you’re not afraid of appearing imperfect. Ironically, by acknowledging your “imperfection” you achieve the same effect that the “perfectionists” strive for: you win a woman’s respect and admiration.

So the next time you’re faced with some friction or a situation you’re unsure about, remember to keep your sense of humor. And a turnkey way to keep that sense of humor is through self-reference.

That’s just one example of the type of “outer game” strategies that make up our Advanced Dating Strategies training course. In that course, you’ll learn 21 more strategies just like “self-reference” that will enhance your personality so that your most attractive self is shining through all the time. Check it out by clicking HERE.Similar Posts:

I Drew a Comic Book & It Will Make You a Stud with Women

Rob Judge — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 14:07:43 +0000

Alright! So Zack and I have been crazy swamped coordinating a few different projects, but I wanted to post something quick about a comic book I created. I know, I know…it’s a little dorky. But, ever since I’ve been a little kid, I’ve always loved comic book art.

So to spice things up a bit, I retold the story of how Zack and I had our “breakthrough moment” after years frustration when learning how to succeed at dating. Here’s a little “sample” to check out:

If you want to see the entire 12-page comic book, click on the link below! (Don’t worry, it’s completely FREE)

Check Out the Comic Book that Rob Illustrated

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