Rob’s Bio

Introduction

If you’re reading this, you have some interest into who I am—or at least what I do. (Otherwise you’re just missed a left turn somewhere on the internet…)

Well, we can start by listing some Rob factoids:

• I’m 28-years-old.
• I run a company called Date Hotter Girls.
• My favorite color is green.
• I’m 92% addicted to coffee.
• I hate any song with a saxophone in it.

Probably you’re more interested in my thoughts on pickup and dating, which are:

I believe every man has the capacity to be attractive to women if he learns to balance and cultivate 4 core aspects of himself: 1.) his drive (masculinity), 2.) his inspiration (his personality), 3.) his ability to form connections (his emotions), and 4.) his understanding of social mechanics (his charisma)

The vast majority of my writing and work in dating advice focuses on those 4 “elements.”

You may be wondering how I can posit such an ambitious claim about male/female sexual dynamics. Maybe you’re wondering if it’s based on studies and tests, or advice from a wise old man, or maybe you just think I pulled it out of my ass.

Well, to answer that, I have to explain the accidental events that transpired in my own life that culminated with me sitting in front of my laptop, on a cool October morning, sipping a cup of coffee, writing out the “bio” of Rob Judge.

When Bobby Met Rob

The internet knows me as Rob, but my friends and enemies know me as Bobby.

(Aside: my actual birth name is “Robert,” which is very convenient because there’s so many permutations of “Robert” that I can compartmentalize my life with different names: Rob, Bobby, Bob, Robby, etc.)

The years spent as “Bobby” were years I spent pretty broken hearted. I was a hopeless romantic—and way more hopeless than I ever was romantic. I scraped through high school, always ending up in the “friend-zone” with the girls I liked.

While I could occasionally attract a girl I didn’t really like, whenever I had an inkling of interest in a girl, I instantly repelled her. That seemed my special curse. I spent my teenage years very frustrated, very lonely, and very jealous. Those were years I was resigned to play the minor character of the “thwarted lover” in other couple’s love dramas.

Bad as high school was, my first semester at college was even more disastrous. It only took a few weeks of college life before I was calling home every evening, begging my parents to let me dropout and move back home.

College tantalized me with girls who looked fun, beautiful, and available, yet were completely off limits to me. I was clueless on how to even approach a girl I didn’t know through friends. I even tried making friends with guys who were already popular with girls, but these guys didn’t want some clueless idiot sniffing around for their scraps.

If did find myself in a situation where I’d have a girl’s attention, giving me a chance to demonstrate some “game,” I’d quickly be hearing the same spiel I heard back in high school: “I really like spending time with you, but just as friends.”

My first semester of college was the second worst “season” I ever had with women. Some lowlights include:

• Getting rejected by a chubby chick who then went and told everyone how creepy and awkward I’d acted
• Telling people I had a crush on a cute girl in one of my classes, she heard about it, and started completely avoiding me
• Taking a girl out on 3 “proper” dinner dates (spending way more money than I even had at the time), only to get the “Let’s just be friends” speech
• Watching countless girls I liked make-out with other dudes at bars and parties

After I’d finished final that semester, I was so depressed and desperate that I got completely drunk and went to a local nightclub. That night, I finally met a decent girl, who was also drunk. We made-out in the club and then, as we were going back to campus together in a van (packed with other intoxicated students), a football player threw-up all over me and the girl.

I remember that moment well. If you’ve ever seen a Nickelodeon show where someone gets “slimed,” this was no different. Both this poor girl and I were drenched in vomit, completely ruining any chance I had with her.

I remember that moment so well because it seemed the perfect way to end the semester from hell. When I went home for Christmas break, I was completely demoralized.

That break though, I ended up spending time with a girl I’d met a few times before I’d left for college. Even though this girl was far from my soul mate, I ended up dating her for the next 5 years of my life. I thought this was going to be the girl I’d marry, even if she didn’t totally excite me.

I was settling—but that seemed just fine considering the state of my love life up until then. I graduated college, got a nice little mediocre job, and prepared myself for a very average, very unexciting life.

But all that changed when that girl cheated on me, and then dumped me.

Right around Christmas time she did it. It was brutal, harsh, and left me writhing like a fish sprawled out on a sandy beach, left to die. All I wanted was for the pain to stop. I contacted every girl I knew, hoping that I could just find another safe, unexciting, mediocre girlfriend to numb the pain.

This led me to the worst season I’ve ever had with women. The dating bloopers I committed during that time were so embarrassing I don’t even like thinking about them. It’s like how a hardened vet must remember Nam. The rejections I endured were brutal, the things I did retarded, and the girls I encountered are probably still traumatized from my awkward creepiness.

That’s when I actually heard girls tell me nonsense like they couldn’t see me because they had to shampoo their cat, or have girls just not show up for dates (without any explanation or warning). This was when I’d call a girl five times a day, really believing that “maybe she didn’t get my call.” This was when I’d stalk the internet, lay awake at night, and curse my horrible misfortune with women.

This was also when an obese woman rejected me, much to my chagrin.

Soon enough, I found my way to the internet community of men’s dating advice (thankfully). After reading one well-known eBook, I (somewhat) decided to change my ways and begin “cold approaching” women I’d see around New York.

As much of a fluke as it was, the first girl I cold approached ended up becoming my girlfriend for the next 6 months. She was beautiful and awesome and foreign, but naturally since I’d put very little work into actually improving my success with women, I found myself dumped. Again.

This time though, it wasn’t so bad. While the heartbreak was familiar, at least I had a plan. I knew I wasn’t a lost cause, waiting blindly for the next girl to come my way. Moreover, I knew I’d never again suffer through the awfulness of the season prior.

Nope. Instead, I had a library of dating advice to read, study, and practice. Once my sadness subsided, I found myself the most excited I’ve ever been to open a new chapter of my life. That’s when Bobby became Rob. That’s when I took control of my destiny.

How I Got Here

Of course, simply studying dating advice wouldn’t have been enough to land me here, writing this bio.

No. I did more than study.

I became obsessed with it, revolved my life around it, and—unfortunately—lost friends over it.

Whenever I become interested in something, I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel a need to talk about it, think about it, and work on it constantly. It’s probably my greatest strength and biggest weakness.

Regardless, it kept me motivated to go out day and night, as much as I possibly could, enduring every shade of embarrassment. I experienced highs and lows like I’ve never experienced before, and I learned to love both.

I had nights where I took home girls so ridiculously hot, they didn’t even seem real but rather airbrushed in real life; conversely, I had such horrific nights that I was the guy everyone pointed out as if I’d taken a huge dump in the middle of the dance floor.

I was that guy. And I was THAT guy.

Still, the years I spent actively pursuing success with women have been the best years of my life. I’ve never felt so confident, so limitless, so in-control of my life.

The lessons I’ve learned through meeting women—as superficial and weird as that may sound—have translated to every other aspect of my life, from fitness to financial success.

There have been nights I’ve been out with Zack Bauer, picking up a pair of cute girls while throwing back beers, where I’ve felt like it’s not humanly possible to be having more fun. I’ve done this in Vegas, Paris, London, and Rome. I’ve lived more in a month than I had in years. I’ve had relationships with girls I wouldn’t have even had the nerve to look at only just a short time ago.

I’ve not only carved out this lifestyle, but I’ve done consciously. Carefully.

And I know how to show other men how to duplicate what I’ve done. It’s not incredibly complicated.

It’s just patterns and mindsets coupled with an understanding of behavior and women.

My philosophy

When I boil my newfound success to its core nuggets of truth, there are a few simple tenets I’ve found to be immutable. If you want success with women, you need to become shameless about it. You can’t worry what other people may think about you. You can’t feel ashamed for wanting you want.

You need to pursue your goals for yourself. Selfishly and completely. Without any second-guessing or questioning. You need to be zealous and driven. Motivated and inspired.

When you act this way, you open the door to rejection, embarrassment, and humiliation.

You need to learn to love those feelings and experiences just as much you enjoy the success, victories, and awesome (and hot) women. I like to call it “loving the process.” In my journey to succeed with women, there were plenty of nights where Zack and I looked like a pair of assholes. Okay. In fairness, we didn’t just look like assholes…we were a pair assholes.

Yet, even when I look back on those nights, I do so with a smile. I smiled when it was happing, as well.

That’s because I don’t take myself that seriously. A key lesson every guy should learn.

You need to laugh at your stupidity and mistakes as much as feel pride in your accomplishments and success. Most guys never learn this lesson. They want all the glory without every paying a price for it. Nothing in life is free. Everything has a cost.

The cost of becoming good with women is the cost of your pride. You’re not perfect. You’re not infallible. You’re not immune from rejection. If you were, you wouldn’t be attractive to women. In fact, you wouldn’t even be human. The only way to attract really gorgeous women is become more of a human rather than less of one.

A huge complaint I have with “traditional” men’s dating advice is that it advocates men transform into larger-than-life ideals rather than men who are comfortable in their own skin.

The man comfortable in his own skin will outperform the guy faking that he’s a larger-than-life ideal every time. I know because I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum, and the times I was more of a human were times I attracted more women. Period.

As such, much of the writing on this blog aims to get you feeling more comfortable, more confident, and more human.

Read this blog over, and absorb the knowledge and insight. Now that you’ve read this bio, you know that knowledge and insight didn’t come from someone sitting in an ivy tower.

Instead, it comes from a normal dude who went from a place of pain to a place of happiness.

I want the same for you, too. Whoever you are.

To your success,

Rob Judge

rob@datehottergirls.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/RobJudgeTheDatingCoach

Twitter: https://twitter.com/therobjudge

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